The Gay jokes get stale after a while
But the Edward getting mauled scene was pretty funny...heheh...
2 things hurt your overall storyline.
1. Your dependence on Gay jokes.
2. That AOL chat talk. ><, <3, etc. It is annoying as sin.
Other than that, the American Pie-ish humor you have here is nothing short of classic.
This is a good example of substance over style.